This is actually a very recent realization to me. I hadn't realized that I had developed stage fright along the line somewhere. And this is very strange. Why? Because I've been performing on stages for nearly twenty years!
My dear friend ~
seifer-sama suggested to me that maybe because I was a kid I didn't think about things like if I'd look stupid. Whereas now, being an adult, it's a thought that crosses my mind.
And I can say it's been nearly twenty years since my first performance was in 1997! I was seven years old, and today I am twenty three. I think that justifies me to say nearly twenty years!
It actually also seems a bit odd for me to think of just how long I've been doing performances. People think of me performing just in masquerades for conventions, but nope, I've actually been doing performances since I was a little kid.
I have two ballet recitals, two dance shows, and five years of dance competition under my belt. I had a seven year hiatus of doing shows, competitions or other kinds of performances. Which might be wear my stage fright started to develop.
2010 I decided to properly take back to the stage at Otakuthon with my boyfriend ~
Raybras. We entered the masquerade as Rider and Lancer from Fate/stay night. And I have been entering masquerades and costume shows more since then. Believe it or not but it's helped me regain some of my former confidence in myself.
At last year's Fan Expo I decided to take performing seriously again when *
CosplayCanada and I entered the masquerade as Final Form Xemnas (him) and Neo-Organization XIII Roxas (me). Our performance would have gone better if our audio hadn't been fudged. But we are hoping for this year's to go better. But Con-G 2013's paid off when I got the reaction I wanted in my performance for Xemnas. Only a few people expected my lightsabers to come out of my sleeves. I am very happy about how that went - considering that I had been having issues in the green room with them.
But with all this performing experience you would think I don't have any stage fright. Well for some reason it developed. But my last two masquerades it seems to be fading away. While my friend was nervous, I was fine. And surprisingly, even though I was going on stage by myself, all eyes on me... I was okay.
I do wonder where the stage fright developed. But perhaps with me entering masquerades it's helping me get rid of it. I don't know. Sorry for the random musings. I also sort of wanted to get rid of the previous journal entry that was full of anger considering what I'd been receiving.
`anmari has been spreading her infectious positivity throughout our community for over 6 years. Throughout this time Ana has been at the core of all things devious, passionately developing an eclectic gallery, helping organise devmeets, participating in chat events and also recently completed dedicating her time as a Community Volunteer. We are absolutely delighted to bestow the Deviousness Award for May 2013 to `anmari, congratulations! Read More
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But like TifalA said, it's mind over matter. As soon as I reach the point of no return and I HAVE to go on stage, my fears kinda melt away and I try to enjoy the moment as much as I can while it lasts.
I've seen you on stage before and you certainly own it. It'll go away, no need for worries!
It really is Mind Over Matter. When you start to really care about your performance, you being to psych yourself out.
Something I learned in ballet when I was a wee little girl (lol) was you just have to let go. If you screw up, you screw up. Feel the music, feel the acting, and be in that moment. And pretty much every time, you are an immensely better performer because of it. I've never had an issue with costumes, tripping, or anything when I've been on stage, and it's because I just live in the moment.
When I did my NiGHTS cosplay last year, it was the first time in forever that I was getting a little stage freight. I was doing something completely out of my comfort zone for a costume: being cute, bouncy, and cheerful. I was shaking just before I took the stage. So I had to take a breath, and just kept telling myself to be the character. Be in the moment. And it all went away.
You'll find ways to work it out. It takes time. ^^